A family in our homeschool group laid to rest their beloved husband and father in the past week. It sent a shock of pain and anguish that seems to hang at the end of everyone's mind. What do you do when something so personal strikes your family...what would I do?
I'm immediately brought back to Paul's conversation with me at Easter, when we accidentally went to a Easter basket blessing...that was partly in Polish and designed for the Polish community (OK, I didn't read the fine print in the paper and thought this would be a good idea). He feeling awkward an out of place was angry with me and left (with the excuse of getting Kimberly out). The rest of the kids and I sat, participated and joyfully went along for the ride...one of them even asked if we can do it again next year. More ponderings made me realize that I've never had a "comfort zone", or at least in a long time.
Almost 20 years ago I met an air force co-pilot, and entered his world....became Catholic, threw my upbringing out the window and embraced a new life that was diametrically opposed to who my parents raised me to be (although truth be told, I think my dad was more conservative than my mom). I was thrust into the life of a Catholic military spouse, nourishing and loving any and all children and friends who came into our life...always being open to meeting new people, learning new things and learning to be stronger than I ever thought I could be. I've been awkward and out of place for nearly 20 years!!! But God's grace has always been abundant and I know that all I've ever experienced has given me a heart to reach out to friends and those who are not yet my friends, mothers, children, babies, families who are struggling financially, and really anyone who just needs arms to hug and ears to hear.
When the recent death came about, my first thought was for Debra, the mom. Not to feel sorry for her, but to feel the strain of having to carry on, despite. And the protective cloak that a mother feels for her children, to keep them from harm, evil and pain...it had been stripped from the family and laid bare. I took a few kids with me last Saturday to just be there, not to run things or take anything away from them, but just be there. I didn't know Debra well before this accident, but I pray that just our presence was a small comfort to her and the kids. Their journey will be difficult and long, but again, God's grace will guide them and form them for Heaven. Bob must have already been done ;)
Just after this, a stomach virus hit. Katherine had a choir performance in Jackson, and had been gone for a few days. Then she comes back, visits this family with me and then promptly begins throwing up at 3am on Sunday. Lauren was next and I've had an upset stomach now for, well, off and on for three days. Megan had stomach pains on Monday night, and laid in bed very still thru Tuesday. Rebecca started on Monday night as well, but at least Katie is old enough and helped nurse her younger sister back to health. Yesterday everyone was fine and it was a gorgeous day, so we aired out the house and went outside for simple yardwork...then Kimberly threw up right at bedtime and my stomach is now worse today than it has been--probably doesn't help to have a little creature in their moving around on top of the moving stomach making weird noise....Stephen is still not sick, but Paul comes home tomorrow and I am hoping he manages to benefit from my Lysoling the house like crazy. Laundry is caught up and everything is clean so hopefully all viruses and bugs are dead and gone....now if I can just get the stupid bird outside my window to be quiet at night, I just might get a good night's sleep!
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