There is a definite shift in the weather pattern! The cool, crisp autumn has been ushered in and leaves cover the ground. This time of year always brings back memories of my dad and my grandpa. Two very different men, but their lives touched me in different ways. My grandfather died two weeks after my great-grandmother died over eight years ago. I was pregnant with Lauren and did not enjoy having to fly hundreds of miles so close together...for less than joyous occasions. He died unexpectedly of a pulmonary embolism. My grandfather loved "loving." He had been a little league baseball coach for Richland, WA for YEARS. A whole ball field is named after him. His loving care of ushering young boys into manhood touched many hearts. Men from around the state came to pay honor to him when he died. It was very touching to see how many people truly loved him. I remember going to my grandparents cabin over Labor Day and during the summers. They'd take us down to the streams, teach us how to harvest/feed the worms, patiently guide us over moss covered rocks in order to get the best spot to guarantee a successful catch and fish us out of the water when we slipped in. Grandma fried the trout on the wood stove and grandpa in his quiet way got the fire pit ready for smores and scolded us when we got too close to the fire. I miss my grandpa; but mostly I am sad for what my children do not have.
My dad celebrated his birthday on Nov. 16, but it has been years since that has meant much to me. My father has always been very self absorbed in his own life and has not had the time, patience or gift with children that my grandpa had. I believe that is a huge part of why my parents divorced. Their differences began to overshadow their committment. I haven't seen my father in eight years. Lauren was a baby. He's never met the last two grandchildren, nor do we receive phone calls or letters or even a card on a birthday. I just sent him the belated birthday card (I'd lost his address...that is how well I know him). I will continue to send the obligatory cards for Father's day, his Birthday and Christmas, but it is always touched with a little sadness for him. I try calling, but my calls are rarely, if ever, returned. My emails go unanswered as well. I'm sad for him and I pray for him because I know what he is missing out on! I pray things change, but we all know it isn't always in The Plan.
So in the meantime, I share ice cream sundaes with my children, just like my grandpa did with me and Paul will take them fishing, when he finds some time........
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